Gangland Couture

I just LOVE this journalistic brilliance from theage online this afternoon:

"Mrs Moran walked into court shortly before the hearing started, wearing a long black frock with the unmistakeable pleats of an Issey Miyake design. Don't you love how they used "frock" here!

Roberta Williams' apparent nemesis was dressed in a grey strapless pencil dress over a white long-sleeved shirt. She was wearing scarlet high-heels. "scarlet" - because she is a scarlet woman, don't you see the genius!!!

A slimline Williams sat quietly during the hearing, dressed in a navy suit, blue shirt and red tie. KD Lang anyone? no wait that's babyface Carl we are talking about now - damn

Roberta, dressed in jeans, a blue hoodie and a yellow beanie, blamed the altercation on the woman, saying it wouldn't have happened had she not gone near the Williams' daughter. Snoop Dog is in da crib after all

"Don't go near my daughter you trashy piece of f***ing carnage," she told the woman after the Court had been adjourned." "Carnage" = Gold. Naomi Robson couldn't have said it better if she tried

Things I have almost posted about recently

but couldn't be bothered...

• Ian Thorpe describing his coffee in the morning (where he has only the "sweetest part of the bean") as an "absolute delight" in the same article he discusses how completely and undeniably straight he is because he sees Angelina Jolie as a "temptress".

• How brilliant this video is - Pearl for PM...bitch

• How life cannot get much better when Collingwood pumps both Richmond and Essendon within 12 days....unless of course someone torches the Punt Road Oval grandstand...scum.

• How Search for the Next Pussycat Doll is the best television show in history.





• How much I love Rob and Amber.




• That I still can't decide who was more of a twat on The Biggest Loser - anorexic Chris or weeping Marty. PS Damien will so win Aus Idol 07.

=

• How upset I was that they took the free jumbo tampon samples off the www.itsmybody.com website before I had the chance to send them to all my friends - you know from that really annoying ad with the "vivacious" teenage girls sitting around vaginating each other

• Whether me and the mighty Bill-dah are massive losers for spending 45mins deciding which 50% off Easter Eggs to buy for ourselves at Kmart Brunswick on Easter Monday...




• My dinner with Vesna (thankyou Adem IAR for crossing one thing off my "to do before I die" list)




• How cheap the Best of the V Festival organisers were for not spending $2.50 on a DJ or at least trotting out the Young Divas Rogue Traders to fill in the gaps between acts.




• My new love for The Chaser even though i'd like to punch Chas in the head





• How Madonna has the very scary hands of a 90 year old.

Young Diver News

Reading between the lines today, it is now clear that Anthony Callea will be replacing Ricki Lee in the Young Divas.

The Biggest Loser 'n' Things

Memo to Kimberley, the new "Outsider" on The Biggest Loser:

Your breasts are meant to go IN your bra, sweetheart...

Are you my Flat Daddy?

This has just been brought to my attention and I think it is all shades of wrong:

So basically, if your mommy or daddy is in Iraq fighting the baddies, you can trade them in for a life-size cardboard cutout for FREE!

I just love the possibilities - get daddy to take your flat mommy in for a breast augmentation.......ring Child Services cos flat daddy gave you a paper cut...take flat daddy to the doctor and say you are concerned he has an eating disorder...line flat daddy up at centre half forward for Richmond and improve their premiership chances...

"My flat daddy is in my room with me all the time" - it almost sounds like a Bindy Irwin quote doesn't it?

Colon Cleansing

Many of you will be well-versed in the genius that is Scott, 2 Be Certain.

Recently, Mr 2BC has been somewhat obsessed with Catherine Tate and her multi-lingual skills, with Mrs 2BC even reporting nocturnal emissions chuckling over this.

This afternoon whilst swapping emails regarding chaos theory in quantum physics the possible similarities between Iva Majoli and Jelena Jankovic, Scott punctuated his argument with the following:

hurdy gurdy gurdy gurr; gurdy

DOES IT IMPRESS ANYONE ELSE THAT HE USES SEMI-COLONS SO ANALLY RETENTIVELY CORRECTLY???

Just one more reason to love the boy and feel incredibly intimidated by his grammatical brilliance.

Great Moments in Australian Cinema

I don't know what it is about an Australian crime tele-movie but i find myself positively moist in anticipation.

Whilst we wait for "Joanne Lees - the Untold Story" (yes apparently they have located the one news agency that she didn't whore her story to...), I remind you of the genius of a blonde Georgie Parker:

"Middle Park???...

My parents have never even BEEN to Middle Park"