Monday, September 24, 2007

Chipmunk gets married

I'm a massive fan of an OTT wedding splurge in Woman's Day and Ricki-Lee Coulter certainly didn't let us down.

Did they get married at the local tip???

It seems it was quite the B-list event with such TV stars as David "i have run outta things to whinge about" Graham, Dan O'Connor (who I saw at the gym the other day walking around with badly tipped hair and shorts worn way too low) and even Marty Worrell (he who ruined the Karate Kid).

Ricki-Lee learnt her wrestling skills from Paulini.

BUT it appears that our favourite all Oz Girl Group since CDB were sooooo busy working hard for the money at Capers to make an appearance which is kinda odd seeing as they appear at the opening of an envelope, or even RSVP insert own joke about them sitting at home on here.

Just fucking ridiculous really.

We here at Billable Units are simply amazed that Ricki Lee had time to organise a wedding whilst gathering nuts for the winter.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

This Week's News

I don't know what it is about my tolerance levels at the moment but gees this week's news has shat me.

Firstly, to that STUPID woman who has decided to sue her doctor for allowing her to give birth to two PERFECTLY healthy and no doubt damn cute baby girls. This is just downright fucking psycho but it makes it oh so much worse that the media has not surprisingly latched onto the fact that she is a lesbian, rather than just a stupid bitch.

There are 101 reasons why this woman deserved to be aborted herself, but the damage that she has caused to the whole "IVF for everyone" debate that so many people have worked their fricken guts out for years has already been done. I suggest we just send ban her from RM Williams, golf and the Indigo Girls for ever. It makes absolutely no sense to me that she couldn't have foreseen this before she filed a document in Court that essentially says:
"I hate my kid so much that you should give me $400,000 + interest + costs".
Let's just add "egocentric" to "pathetic, ungrateful bitch".

I mean when the husband, myself and KTBIM attended a recent fundraiser for a lovely friend of ours (who just happened to be a lady-lover) with the theme Doctors & Nurses as backyard abortionists complete with freaky baby dolls skewered on coathangers we were at least fully aware that we were likely to have our testicles kicked in. Sure there were plenty of people who didn't quite dig our gag (we were in Northcote after all and 3 of only about 5 guys in the whole place) but then again our lucious lesbian friends thought it was kinda cool and tongue-in-cheek.

Secondly, is anyone else sick of this whole Pumpkin story?? I mean really, it has gone on a fair it hasn't it??? And whoever thought of the nickname "Pumpkin" clearly needs to have a good hard look at themselves. I'm not sure they even HAVE Pumpkins in China, so i can only imagine how hard it would be to explain that one in the Chinese Times or whatever the family business name was...

Sure it is a big enough story for it to maybe make front page once, but the connection to Australia is all a little tenuous for my liking to make it into the next Karmein Chan media frenzy.

Thirdly, who knew that Natalie Bassingthwaite went out with Gordon from Big Brother??? This has almost overshadowed his tragic death (well in MX which i consider to be my #1 source of information these days) and the fact that his "close friend" was actually quoted as saying that he was a "big personality and big in every way"...

Monday, September 10, 2007


You are all fucking idiots.
How did this VERY talented girl get voted out and this embarrassing cocktard who scatted all over Waltzing Matilda get through???

I weep for the future.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Pros and Cons(tipation)

So i am off work today with a major case of food poisoning.

That means I am:

a) bored shitless - well CLEARLY not literally

b) wearing black jocks - better safe than sorry

c) looking for someone to blame - 5 day old strawberry iced krispy kreme im looking at you

d) re-living my uni existence - Dr Phil, KAK, Oprah (see more below on that gold)

e) staring down the box of imodium in a battle of wills - might as well swallow concrete

f) all of the above.

Although there are certainly some bonuses to my current liquidity.

Today Oprah is featuring a COAST TO COAST GREY'S ANATOMY PARTY!!!! Complete with Gayle hosting a vat of screaming wet blondes in Seattle (who have asked 3 questions about Meredith and McDreamy's sex scene in the tub and whether McDreamy or McStramy eats better pussy) and some raving Jason Priestly wanna-be queen with a MASSIVE package (seriously, he must be wearing a cockring) hosting out of Chicago and well there is a group set-up in New York who Oprah seems to have forgotten about.

Well anyway, im praying beyond hope that Oprah asks Isiah Washington if he is OK with Gayle and her's "relationship", but nigger please we know that she aint gonna diss her brudda like that.

OOO now we have a Sarina Russo informercial gracing us instead of a commercial. Not that bitch is ssscccaaarrrryyyyy. "now we did really help you, didnt we?" says Sarina to some poor single mother/widow...

Ok now the palsy has me raving but one last thing is Chandra Wilson (aka Bailey) actually Jessica Mauboy in 15 years time????